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Writer's pictureMatthew Verity

Dealing with Change Anger



One of the challenges in consulting is change management. Consultants often have a front row seat in witnessing the people side of change as it is generally directly or indirectly the external consultants seen as the "agents of change"


“People’s reactions are often more emotional and visceral than logical and rational. Some people display shock, anxiety, fear or anger. Some become preoccupied, absent-minded, forgetful, distracted or fatigued—even if they view the change as positive.”


After reading this (and having a quick chuckle to myself) I found myself confused as to why even positive change can cause such emotion in people ? Over the course of my career I've witnessed, and at times endure the wrath of people getting angry over change. Inevitably after venting most go onto quickly get past it and continue on – or just grow with it. The emotional upheaval at the start of the process is often very stressful and I would think not good for their health ?


Why if we know we’ll get past it do we get so fired up ? In an episode of the Soprano’s many years back I recall the Dr pointing out to a rage filled Tony Soprano that “Anger is frustration at oneself externalised”. Basically as humans when we don’t understand something we tend to feel somewhat stupid, get angry and blame/throw/kick etc. whatever is around us


From an early age we blame the “stupid teacher” when we’re failing at maths and yet weeks later when the penny drops (or a new concept we understand comes along) we find ourselves thinking the teacher is a great person.


I see the same pattern in the way in which we react when faced with something we can’t grasp or understand…..often the case when change is thrust upon us. I learnt many years ago from a dear friend and mentor to always remember and acknowledge that:

  1. Just because I don’t understand things sometimes doesn’t make me stupid

  2. It is understandable that I don’t get things straight away and may need to be coached

  3. It is not often that perseverance does not pay off

So when people come to me with “change anger” and tell me that something doesn’t work; that it’s been done incorrectly or that I’ve failed to understand them, I keep these things in mind and attempt in the most sincere and humble way to address as follows:

  1. Listen to the person and understand that they probably feel silly if they don’t understand the change

  2. Help them by trying to explain why things are happening, and offer them support as they try to learn

  3. Let them know that the change is not being put in place as an offence to them

  4. Let them know that you also have also faced similar challenges

I’m not saying the above is a magic formula, nor that there are manic people who cannot be talked to, but pretty much we’re all the same, and change (particularly where learning is involved) can invoke some pretty raw questioning that can belt our self esteem. Being empathetic and understanding that we react the same way, might help in you taking a deep breath and being able to help calm down difficult situations for the good of everyone's health.


This is a reported blog from August 7th 2014 from https://mnverity.wordpress.com/.


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